Friends by Reconciliation

By: Deborah Chomveka

  “Because you committed murder, you are here by sentenced 15 years imprisonment with hard labor.” The judge said… I felt like my world was crushing Infront of me, I saw my wife crying she looked at me and looked at our 2-year-old daughter. Tears dropped down from my eye’s, fully knowing that I was not going to be the father I have always wanted to be to my beautiful baby girl. I cried, blaming myself with these thoughts: WHY DIDN’T YOU WALK AWAY?  WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST LET HIM BE, WERE YOU SUPPOSED TO FIGHT WITH HIM, NOW LOOK WHERE YOUR ANGER HAS LANDED YOU.  Ever since that incident happened, I have never slept for more than an hour. The scenario keeps flashing back, nightmares every time I was to close my eyes, I became a slave of myself, at night I wished for the day to come when the day come, I wished for the night I had no peace.  I knew I needed something but what? What could make a man free?  Years went by have the same stories wishing for better days.

 One day as always, I woke up with the same pain, and guilt, one  officer walked up to me and told me I needed help. He had been observing me and he knew something was wrong with me, he was the chaplain. He told me that God forgives every sin, and he can also forgive me if I asked Him to do so, only if I can confess my sins and do them no more and accept the Lord Jesus to be my Lord and Savior. I looked at him, I felt he was not making sense, but deep down in my heart his words gave me a certain form of peace, joy and hope. I asked him to help me, and I shared all my problems. He led me into a confession prayer.  He gave me a small New Testament bible and told me to study all the answers I needed were in that small book. I could read, and if I had troubles understanding a certain verse I could wait for him to be on duty and I would ask him what the passage was all about. Each time I read the Bible it added a form of joy in my life. However, I know I had done something wrong, and I had to make things right by asking for forgiveness to the family I had wronged. I asked the chaplain to help me if I could seek for forgiveness to the family of the person I had killed. The chaplain promised to help me. Few weeks later the lady to the husband I had killed was called, immediately when the lady saw me, she cried and wanted to fight me, I knew that I deserved every insult that she gave me, she told me she would never forgive me. The only wish she had for me was torment, pain and misery.  The chaplain tried his best, but she couldn’t hear a word and she left. The pain that I had been trying to burry over the years came back to life and it was as flesh as if it had just happened few hours ago.

 I went back to depression; I stopped reading the Bible the chaplain gave me.  Every time I saw him, I could act as if am very busy and I didn’t want him to talk to me because I felt like his speeches gave me false hope and me avoiding him was trying to protect my feelings from his false hope.   He did not give up; he would still call me and pray for me.  One day I asked him why he hasn’t given up on my matter? Because I had given up a long time ago and God was punishing me for killing someone. He told me that he will never give up on me because he knows that God never fails, and He will never start with me the only thing I needed to do was to believe Him and I let Him take control of the matter.   Few months later the chaplain was transferred but before he went away, he told me never to doubt God and always remember that God never fails, and He will never fail me.  This time I hold on to his words, although I was still having mental breakdown, nightmares. I had hopes that one day I will be free from the pain inside and the lady will forgive me.  I began to read the bible often and I would share what I had read with other inmates who were passing through the same guilt and self-condemnation as I was. 

 One day I was told I had a visitor; I went to meet them and to my surprise it  was the chaplain and the lady I have always wished and  seek  her forgiveness. To my surprise she was not insulting me, this time we were able to seat down and talk.  The chaplain looked at me and asked me if I had anything to say to the lady. Words failed me, no word felt right to use at that time, I was shaking and tears roaring down from my eyes. As I cried the lady also cried.   Few minutes later I was able to explain what had happened and that I was deeply sorry for what I had done. The lady looked at me and she told me she had forgiven me a long time ago. She couldn’t just find the courage to face me.  And now she felt like it was the time to let go of her pain and be free, she explained that every time she remembered the incident and what I had done to her family she felt pain and wished me bad. She said whenever she prayed bad things to happen to me for making her a widow, she could have a dream someone telling her forgiveness was the only freedom she needed.  It took her time to let go, but this was what she needed, and she forgive me. I could not believe her words I asked the chaplain if he had heard the same things as I heard. He smiled and nodded his head. Tears of joy came down from my eyes.  The chaplain, explained to me how he met her in the city he was transferred to, and she approached him and told him that she was ready to see me and talk things out.  Since the first time she came 7 years had passed, I could not believe that I would ever see her or even be forgiven, but God made it happen for me.  And since that time every time she comes to Choma she finds time to see me and give me whatever she has that time, and she will even give me hope that one day I will be out and be free again and that I should keep trusting God for He is the only helper of my life.

When I heard this story, I was amazed. My work revolves around preaching about reconciliation, but never has it occur to me that someone would forgive his/her victim to a point of making them their friend despite the kind of the crime they committed to them. I feel that this story is unique, especially the kind of forgiveness the lady portrays.  What she did truly defines Philippians 3: 13 of course, my friends, I really do not think that I have already won it; the one thing I do, however, is to forget what is behind me and do my best to reach what is ahead.  And Matthews 6:14-15 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your father will not forgive your sins.

(Based on a true story)